22. April 2014

OMG, I think I should start with diary. In real life, I’m too quiet and shy. I know it. And I can’t talk to much. I just can write. I know my English is bad too. I’m whole bad. I have bad mind, body, skin, hands, legs, hair, eyes, everything. But the worse place is in my head. I don’t need help from you, I don’t want you to read this. I just want to get away my thoughts from my head. 
Okay, today I was longer at work. I was so happy there. I don’t know why, but then my mind go away to book. And then I just had to go to home and read. I finished this book. T_T I hate when I finished really perfect book (all mine books are perfect). OMG… okay, I don’t want to talk about this, about my day. I don’t know why but….. when I saw (I don’t have word for this guy, that’s mean… idk I will call him S) S online on gmail I had really bad feeling. Idk why, it was so weird. I was at work and just looked at his name and green dot next to his name. I don’t what it was. I just wanted from him to say Hello to me. Why I’m so stupid? I don’t … He doesn’t talk to me long time, (I think it’s 3 week?) and I want to talk to him again? I can’t… I hurted him so much, like I hurted everyone around me. Idk what’s wrong with me.

Why I didn’t die? 

I often carry things to read so that I will not have to look at the people

 Charles Bukowski

(Source: poeticallibra)